Three Cs to Make A Marriage Last

 Three Cs to Make A Marriage Last

(As understood from Mayor Domogan’s Speech on a wedding reception)

Last May 26, my friends and I attended a wedding and the consequent wedding reception of one of our ka-ili-an (kababayan). During the reception, we were able to see a glimpse of how traditional practices and church ceremonies were able to blend harmoniously with one another in the union of man and woman and their respective cultures. It was a grand wedding. The theme was red and the reception was held at the Gymnasium of Easter College, the immediate members of the family were seated on front while there were tables at the center for guests and godparents such as City Mayor Mauricio Domogan- it was he who gave advice to the newlyweds on how to make their marriage last. According to him a wedding lasts when you have three Cs in it.

Communication- it is important that couples talk about their problems or misunderstandings instead of keeping a barrier of silence. It is a basic rule to every relationship as its builds a bridge of understanding and trust for the each other. For example when the husband comes home late at night drunk he has to tell the wife where he has been. He shares that when he comes home drunk he has to listen to his wife’s litany patiently and silently “Kala nga na-pat-owan nga aso” (like a dog who has been  hit-cowering with his tail between his feet) with his head bowed since the more he tries to argue the more his wife would talk and get mad. When one of the couples have to work later than usual they also have to inform the other to prevent unnecessary worry.

Courtship- marriage doesn’t stop when you get married instead a man forever courts his wife until they die. The sweetness and loving you have shown to get your wife you have to continue to assure that your wife’s loyalty. While it is true that each of them might get busy in their respective work the couple should still find time for each other to keep the flames burning since the absence of courtship might lead to infidelity. He again shares his own experience with his wife that after last night’s fight or getting home drunk; he has to lambing his wife in the morning or after her anger has cooled, thus making peace with her.

Commitment- both man and woman have to stay committed to their civil and church vows. Whenever the couple fights they always have to remember that they are wed- they took their vows witnessed by the judge, church, and the public. For this and for the children they have to keep their word. They must not take another into their arms when for example the other has to work far away while the other is left behind. One has to remember the good more than the bad- not counting the wrongs the other has done. One has to remember that at one point they loved that person enough to marry them and for everything that was shared between them they have to stay committed.

After the messages to the couple was the dinner and giving of gifts or supon. As we left, the gangsa continued to play in celebration of the wedding while the rain outside softened and eventually ceased.