Father

“When I was a kid, I really did not get the idea of a mother and father, even the word family. I don’t know what was our relationship with each other.” Anne, an alibi, said as I asked her how she grew up without a father. “When I was in Grade 1, we had this assignment which we will recite who is our father, mother, grandmother, etc. And I did not know that my mother’s mother is my grandmother. I did not know those simple things. And since I grew up with my cousin, I called my uncle, his father, papa sometimes. Then my cousin taught me how to make letter envelopes. Then I thought of writing a letter for my mother. In that letter, I asked who is my father. After I gave it to my mom, she told me that she will tell me someday. But I don’t want to meet him anymore. We are already fine without him.” For the past two years, I saw that the lack of father in her family was not a problem. I have met her mother and, actually, there family is like a normal one. The presence of a father is not actually needed.

My first memory of my father is I thought that he was just my mom’s friend that was why he was in our house. But I did not want him near my mother. Whenever he was near us, I hugged my mother and placed some distance between him and us. As I grew up, I found out that he is actually my father, not just a friend of my mother. He is actually a supportive father. In our early years, he was abusive. I still remember when I was eating dinner one night, he threw a stick on my leg for a reason I did not know. My mom and dad used to fight. And there was one fight which was the most terrible of all the fights they had. My siblings and I did not know the reasons behind these fights. I thought that they were going to get separated, that I was going to grow up without a father and that this family would never be a normal loving family. I did not know how it happened but he changed. He became more caring and loving as a father. They did not get separated. Our family is still whole, and somehow, we became that normal loving family that I thought would never happen. As we grew up, our father supported us. He always tell us that we should work hard and someday, we will find a nice job that would support our own family in the future.

Because fathers are procreators, they tend to control their sons or daughters life. And everyone does not want to be controlled. I have noticed that most of the people I met who have family problems hated their fathers. It was because he was not caring and loving enough for them. Society tell us that mothers are the one who takes care of the family and gives the emotional resource and the fathers give the other resources needed in the family. I’m not going to blame society. I’m not going to blame the fathers, as well. It would depend on the father on how they should act. Even though there is already this stereotype about fathers, my father chose to become a household father as well as a working father. This kind of father may be criticized by society but they choose this to take care of the their family. And as his daughter, it actually helped me. When I was a kid, I also felt the lack of my father’s love because I never felt it. Because they always fight. But now he has changed, I can feel his love. And it helps motivate me to strive hard and reach my goal. As for Anne, she said that she did not need to meet her father. She grew up without him. And I can see how strong she is without the support of her father. When I was thinking that she has no father, it made me sad. I thought that she may feel incomplete, lacking that father’s love. But, no. She is stronger than me. They’re able to live without him.